After a few years of child rearing slumber
it is easy to wake up, sleepily look around and wonder “What the %!@ happened
I think I had some talent right? I could dance.
Wait, no. I could sing. How come I can’t remember one song
besides The Wheels on the Bus? Or maybe I was the studious one –
straight A’s and Pre-Law? Wait a minute – I started that novel. Where is
Where am I again?”
Motherhood can be like being immersed in a temporary land of
joy-filled, diaper-laden, hugs and kisses, 24-7, marshmallow dreamy, never
enough sleepy, where did my brain go haze where you are required to be of
service to tiny people for whom you are the center of their universe. (So
you’ve got that going for you.)
And at some point we all awake from the haze. In fact, we
wake up many times as our children grow. We discover new levels of
consciousness as our children are able to sleep through the night, spend an
entire day at school, stay home alone and eventually leave for summer camp
With each milestone in their lives, we experience a new level of
opportunity to recreate or reclaim ourselves.
Real opportunity to reclaim yourself in the now. You have
a world of experiences to draw upon now that your pre-motherhood self never
imagined. And that pre-mommy you still exists. She is just waiting
for an invitation to join your party. Imagine the possibilities when you
put all that new experience to work on recreating you in the now.
Coach Me Quick tips for Inviting Your
Pre-Mommy YOU to the Party:
1. Take a look inside your own memory.
If someone were to meet the pre-mommy you – how would they
describe you? Which of those attributes would you like to invite to your
current party? Were you a little more “woo-woo?” Did you stay up
late? Did you practice yoga, run in marathons or sky dive? You
won’t want to invite all of your pre-mommy self to this party and you don’t
have to. After all, it’s your
guest list and you get to be the bouncer too.
2. Take a look around at the people who are in your life right
Were any of them there to witness the pre-mommy you? If so,
interview them. What do they remember that doesn’t seem to be present
now? Maybe you were more flexible? Maybe you were quicker to
anger? Maybe you made good choices or were there more bad choices?
Again, pick and choose. Is there anything that you would like to invite
to the party?
3. What were your talents? (Hint: they are still your talents
even if you are not utilizing them.)
If you played an instrument or loved to dance, how can you bring
some of that to your party?
4. Share your pre-mommy self with your children.
love to hear about who their parents were before they had children.They
will be suitably awed by your backpacking trip to Europe and the time you
stayed up all night preparing for that important job interview. You may
not want to share your drunken walks home from the local bar in college or the
stories of the frogs you kissed before finding your prince, but there is still
plenty to share without “over-sharing.”
Your party is going to be the shindig of a lifetime, let’s get