by Lisa Sugarman
So there’s something you should know up front, before we really get rolling…there’s very little that I want that I don’t already have. And that’s the honest truth.
I’m actually being serious right now. I consider myself to be an incredibly fortunate person who really has just about everything I could need to be happy. I’ve got a great guy, two terrific and relatively low-maintenance kids (relatively), and a surprisingly normal and loving extended family.
Yup, I have just about everything I need to be happy. Just about. (I am human, after all. And a girl. I do occasionally want stuff.) And I’ll get to what that is in a second.
Now I know this might sound a little farfetched but, as a mom, I don’t often put myself first. In fact, I’m almost always dead last. Like, when I need a new pair of Dr. Scholls for the summer I only buy them if there’s money left over after I’ve bought bathing suits, shorts and flip flops for the girls, new dress shoes for Dave, and a new leash for the dog. Needless to say, I’ve been resoling the same pair of Dr. Scholls for the last ten years. You see my point.
I know, putting yourself last as a mom is a foreign concept to all you mamas out there. (I can feel you laughing.) So I guess it’s because I define myself as a mom above anything else that I feel like Mother’s Day is so significant. That’s why the one thing I actually want for myself is a perfect Mother’s Day.
That’s it. Just one perfect day.
How I define that perfect day, though, may surprise you.
See, I have no interest in getting physical gifts from my girls on Mother’s Day, like silk pajamas or flowers or heart necklaces. Not that those aren’t meaningful, but they’re just not what really matters the most to me. In fact, getting a store-bought gift is the exact opposite of what I want. (God I hope this week’s column is the one you guys pick to read this year, cause I’m like spoon-feeding you here.)
Honestly, the reason why this particular day is so important to me is because it’s the one day of the year that celebrates the most important thing that I am—a mom. Yeah, yeah, it’s corny, I know, but there isn’t one of us out there who doesn’t secretly feel the same way. Every one of us bitches and moans that, as moms, we have no time for ourselves anymore; that we’re sleep deprived, sex deprived, exercise deprived, financially depleted, and in a constant state of chaos. Yet none of us would trade motherhood for the promise of a lifetime of all of those things combined.
Ok, granted, motherhood was most definitely the reason they came up with the phrase labor of love.But it really is about the best gig going because it’s one of the few things we all put our entire heart and soul into for life. And I guess on some level I just want my kids to pause long enough on Mother’s Day to acknowledge and appreciate me by giving me some of the “things” that I spend the rest of the year giving up because I’m so busy being their mom.
I want things like getting and keeping their undivided attention when I’m talking. Eye contact, girls. Eye contact. I want privacy (specifically relating to the bathroom). I want unlimited access to the TV remote so I can watch an entire day’s worth of Modern Family back to back to back. I want the car radio to stay on the 80s Mix Up Mash Up station. I want to be the one to go in the shower first and use as much hot water as I want. All of it, actually. I want to drain that water heater dry. Just one time.
And I want to spend hours in the kitchen cooking my favorite meal and have everyone excited to eat it, regardless of what they’re really in the mood for (Chipotle is not an option). I want all fighting to cease and desist just for this one day—no door slamming, no eye rolling, no attitude, no moodiness, no insults. And no asking me for anything. In short, I want only happiness, gratitude, and appreciation, expressed either in the form of hugs and kisses or I love yous or a simultaneous mix of the three.
This is what I want.
Ok, fine, maybe not all of it (my list is rather long). Maybe just a select few. Actually, I’d be thrilled if I got that last one about hugs and kisses and I love yous just as a gesture of good faith. Because the truth is, I really don’t have time to enjoy all the other stuff. Sunday is the day I strip all the sheets, do the food shopping, make lunches for the week, do all the ironing, and get to all the errands I didn’t have time for during the week.
Wow, come to think of it, Sunday’s looking pretty stacked. I might only have time for a quick wave as I’m backing out of the garage. A mom can dream, though, can’t she?